Sometimes the physical recovery is the easy part.
The puncture wound Mikaela Shiffrin suffered during a Nov. 30 crash tore a long, deep gash in her obliques, a not-insignificant muscle group for a ski racer. Surgery, rest and intense rehab got her well enough that she was able to return to the World Cup circuit just two months later.
The mental scars will take a little longer to heal.
Though Shiffrin won a slalom in Sestriere, Italy, on Sunday — her 100th World Cup victory, for those keeping track — she acknowledges the comeback has not been easy. The psychological trauma from the crash has not only caused anxiety; it’s created something of a fun-house effect in her brain:
Shiffrin knows what she wants to do and how to make that happen. She just can’t get her body to go along with it.
“The way that I visualize skiing the (GS) course is correct — or I think correct. I visualize the right intensity, the right pace, the same way that I always have. But then when I go to actually do it, it’s like my body just needs an extra beat to do all of the moves that I need to do,” Shiffrin told USA TODAY Sports on Tuesday.
“(My psychologist said to) understand that this is temporary. It’s a little pocket of reality that you’re experiencing right now, that you’re just not quite 100% yourself or you’re not really feeling entirely yourself,” Shiffrin continued. “And it doesn’t mean you’re bad. It doesn’t mean you’re wrong.”
It means she’s still healing. And it will take more time.
Shiffrin experienced something similar after the sudden death of her father five years ago. She talked then of the overwhelming fatigue she felt and the apathy that resulted. What she’s feeling now might not be quite as extreme, but she knows it’s not something that can be wished away, no matter how badly she wants to be racing GS and super-G.
“I’m trying to wrap my head around it, and understand the validity in what it is,” Shiffrin said.
Shiffrin has always been introspective and unflinchingly honest, so it’s not a surprise she’s being open about her current struggles.
But she’s also talking about it because she knows other skiers have experienced this, too, and she wants them to know they’re not alone. To recognize it, and know what they’re going through is normal and not a reflection of their talent or skill.
Shiffrin said several other racers who’ve had horrific crashes, including Italy’s Sofia Goggia, Sweden’s Sara Hector and U.S. teammates Nina O’Brien and Jackie Wiles, have reached out in the last several weeks to share their experiences and how they got through them.
“The only thing for you to do is keep exposing yourself to it, because that’s the only way to reconnect your body and mind,” Shiffrin said.
Too often, though, athletes assume it’s something physical. That they’ve lost speed or their muscles just aren’t firing like they used to.
“They’re just thinking there’s something wrong with them. They’re just like, ‘I’m just slow. I’m just not a good skier,’ ‘ Shiffrin said.
But Shiffrin knows better. All she has to do is look at the record books. Or her wins in the team combined at the world championships earlier this month and last weekend’s World Cup.
Nearly back to her old self in slalom, she knows she’ll get back there in the other disciplines, too. She just needs to give herself the space and the grace to do it.
“The reason I didn’t race the GS at world championships is, at that point, it felt like I wouldn’t even feel comfortable actually just pushing out of the start to the first gate. And now the big improvement is that I want to push out of the start. I want to take on the turns and I want to ski the course faster,” she said. “I’m just still not quite connecting it.”
Shiffrin has almost two weeks before her next World Cup races, a giant slalom and slalom in Are, Sweden. Then she’ll travel to Sun Valley, Idaho, for the World Cup finals, which are March 22-27. It’s a rare opportunity for U.S. skiers to compete on home snow, and they’re eager for the attention it will bring to the sport in a non-Olympic year.
Skiing, like so many sports in the Winter Olympics, remains a niche sport for most Americans. Access to snow is one challenge, but the expense of it is a considerable hurdle, too. Shiffrin hopes to change that and used her 100th World Cup win to launch a fundraising effort for Share Winter, a foundation that brings winter sports to kids and communities that historically have not had access to them.
Shiffrin donated $10,000 and is challenging sponsors and fans to get the total to $100,000. That would enable 200 kids to be able to ski for an entire season.
“When you go see the videos that (Share Winter) shares of these kids going out and snowboarding for the first time, and they’re like, ‘Whoa! I crashed! And I got back up. It’s super fun!’ ‘ Shiffrin said.
“How many runs have I done in this sport? I’m completely desensitized to the thrill of it, actually,’ she said. ‘When you hear somebody just getting out there for the first time talking about that thrill, it’s pretty beautiful.”
A good perspective to have, perhaps now more than ever.
Follow USA TODAY Sports columnist Nancy Armour on social media @nrarmour.